G-d fearing???

I am a Christian male. that is simple, i may not live by your rules, and i may not do the things that you self-appointed Christians believe are to be right and wrong, but i am a Christian. I operate under the belief that G-d wants me to be happy and accepting of all his children. Which is hard at times when the Christians i meet on a regular basis tell me that my path is wrong.

I was in a debate today about G-d Fearing. I don't fear G-d nor will i ever. I know and love a G-d that is slow to anger and quick to forgive. I don't know a vengeful G-d.

I am not going to sit here and write that i am some perfect person without sin, but i am happy. i may do things that i will have to account for later in life, and some of th things i do i have to account for now, but in the end I have to account for them. Not you and your judgmental eyes. I don't judge you spilling your hate and hypocritical teaching into your children like morning vitamins.

It has taken me a long time to find my faith in G-d. It has taken the strength that i never knew i had to stand up and realize that i love G-d. I have done this through personal demons, religious advisors and most importantly friends that never gave up on me.

It took a while to break the sterotype of Christians that has been ingrained in my life. I have always been FORCED to believe something that i know is not right. I have always been told what to worship rather than giving me the tools to find out answers for myself. and when i brought challenges to the attention of my "teachers" there were quick to disspell me personally rather than deal with the question.

Now that i am a man i fear no G-d, i am scared of no death, for i know where i will be going when it all ends. I know that i am cool with G-d, we are homies. it is hard for people, espically, people i grew up, to understand my belief of acceptance and forgivness. but in the end that is what jesus was about to me. he didn't push anyone away he kept everyone for everyone.

that is what i don't understand. but i am on a rant that should end...cause i could go on for hours.

but i will end with this.

Why do we need to fear a G-d? Don't worry about the after life, make good in this life and you will be fine in the after life.

remember never fear what you can't understand, accept that you can't understand and move forward.