i am not a miracle worker, i am a fucking janitor

i do clean up.  that is all i do....all i do is clean up everyone else messes.  I don't know if i have a mess to clean up or what i did to pull this detail, but i am stuck here cleaning up for every mess, sacrificing parts of who i have become to pull the detail that i don't want to do.  I deal with x wives, x girls, current wives, current girls, old friends and new friends. I make sure the tide flows with ease.  

i am tired of it. i am tired of trying to balance my life with everyone else. i am the throw away guy, i have made a niche for myself, but in the end i will be discarded along with all the other trash when my time is done.

i guess i am tired of batting clean-up. I have tried to shine on my own and get slapped down with everyone else's bullshit.  

today was teh second day that i had to take off to play clean up for my friends. i haven't recieved a thanks, i haven't been told i owe you one, it has come off like it is my fucking job to do this. Like I am the one who SHOULD do this.  

i am just tired of it.

fuck this.....i am just going to run away....