Love......

the feelings of a first date, the butterflies of the first kiss, the look of the first "i love you" and the fear that comes from the "will you marry me".

all these felling encompass love and what love does to people. But is that really it. I have loved, i have lost, i have won, i have done things only capable because i was in love.

but what is love, we could spend a million hours and say a billion things and never ever ever begin to describe what love is for me...i will go into it right now, but i have borrow, stole, used and created words for all over to find my definition of love. so as i plagiarize some, and create a new, i have found that my definition of love is a mixture of song and poetry and life and death and loss and gain and birth and me.

I know that I have loved someone in the way that we dream of love, the way we speak of love and the way we hold out love to be our everything, but I also know that she did not love me back. EVER. She may have said she did may have tried to but never did. Though I have loss her forever I remember what love is and what it can do to people.

Love in itself is the reason for everything. It is why we live. We live to love, not to hate, not to breathe, not to work, we live to love. Weather it is to love our work, or our money or our pain or our anger, or our spouse or our friends, we live to love and be loved. Everything in life is love, respect is love, confidence is love, anger is love. All emotions stem from love one way or another. We wouldn’t hate so much, if we didn’t love it to begin with. We wouldn’t fight so hard if it wasn’t worth loving and we wouldn’t die for them if we just liked time. LOVE my friends, it is simple and it is worth it.

People of all levels of experience and intelligence tell me about love, about how we love this so much and we love that so much and blah blah blah, but when they go into how someone else could not love because they did (insert example here). I find that to be offensive. For who are we to doubt the love that one has for themselves, their family, their country whatever. We all have the capisity of love, and that is to be feared more than anything else.

That is the ulitimate queston. What would you do for love. And what you would do to protect a loved one. I could personally do some damage, very bad damage, and have done damage for the people that I love, with out thinking twice about anything. I could sacrifice everything I am, and everything that I am not to protect what I love, or to strike out against the people who hurt my love ones. I could do that and it scares the shit out of me.

Love isn’t what we read about. It can be what we want it to be, and what we don’t want it to be. You can talk about love. How it makes you feel so great, how you can do whatever is possible of love. A love that makes you dance when no one is looking or a love that makes you run back for one last hug or a love that keeps you warm at night.

Or you can talk about that other kind of love. The love that makes you do things the next man couldn’t. the things we don’t talk about deep in our souls. That is also love. But most people don’t want to see that love, they don’t want to see a man who loves something so much that he would die as an example to that love. No one wants that. Except for the man who wants to love that much. Or the person who kills to protect what he loves. Even if the killing is in cold blood, to stop an event from happening. That kind of love we don’t talk about. It is the love that we all can do, and we are all afraid of it so we don’t talk about it.

I am afraid of what I have done and what I can do. I never really understood the power of love until I looked in the mirror one day and realized what I was capable of. From the great highs that love can give to the lowest of the low. Where all you can do is nothing in the form of everything wrong to protect your love.

I am not saying that I am a person on the edge that is about to go ape shit, but I am trying to say is that people need to understand that the love of one person can do.

I love life, and everything that it has done for me, with me and against me. Life has a way of evening itself out when shit gets rough it always gets better, it may take a few YEARS, but it always gets better.

My love is deep. I don't easily, but when i do, it is forever. I do not stop because life has changed or we have changed, i still love. i hold love to be the best a person can be. it makes all do the things in life for a better reason. Love is the reason that everything is done in my life. Love for the law, love for my friends, love for life in general is why i wake up in the mornings and do what is needed for me to get done. I love everything about my life, everything that it holds, everything that is has loss, everything that i want it to be. I love it all.

why, you ask, would a person who has gone through as much bullshit that i have, became the person who stands for love over everything else in life. and honestly i believe that my life has been no more fucked up than anyone else. We all have a crazy life, we all have done shit or have had shit done to us that makes our family just a good or bad as the next. so i look at life as an opportunity to improve where i can from. I look at my parents, and grandparents and great grandparents and i want to be better off then them. I want to have more options then them, i want to give my kids a better life than i had.

that is why i love more than anything else. for all the goals in my life you can't accomplish with the burden of hate or anger on your chest. You have to be open to the ideals of love and learning. Pride is something that you gain through this process. that is just life.

i love everything that i am and everything that i am not, i strive to be better than what i was, and become stronger than who i am. that is just how i roll.

in the end i am ranting about the power of love. and all that need to be said will never be said correctly for love is different for us all, but at the end of the day all you need is love......