words that found me like a lost friend telling me that i could be who i wanted to be.
words that from the start scared me like a child in the dark.
words that now empower who i am and what i will be able to to
words that for the first time have meaning.
words that will change this life forever.
with the poetry gone again...i am back from where i was last night, i am back from the journey that i found so late in the day. back from the lala land that brought me the ideas that i hold today.
when i woke up the world was brand new for some reason. the air was crisper, though smokier than before, the sun was bright with opportunity and the land was mine for the patrolling. i ruled my world today with a grin and a laugh. i didn't have anything to make me angry or hold me down, i just smiled as if the day was meant for me to realized everything that i had come to terms with last night was the G-d's honest truth.
that makes me happy. i talk with the two people i got advice from last night about what happened and even they noticed a differences to me. a more "free" chris. one that doesn't let the fear of the past rule the time of the future. each thing will come at may or will come all together, either way i can deal with it. i am no longer afraid to live as i once did. i am no longer scared to treat special people the way they deserved to be treated.
as i stated last night my life has been a constant change for the past years and i don't know where it will go, but i know that i will be here for the ride. this years is has slowed down from the massive change that was last year, but i still grow like no other. i am still being challenged with aspects of my life that i never thought would come up until much later. i am faced with decisions that could be the most important ones of my life.
and i WELCOME it all. i am tired of running from this place in life. i have taken the hard road all the way around the world to come back here to see the path was so much easier if i had just stopped being stupid. but welcome to the world.
i am a head of where i wanted to be where i am at now. i maybe unemployed (and happy about it) i have friends that are going to walk on fire to see me. i have people who will die for me and hopefully by the end of this week i will know if this girl wants to be with me.
in regards to the girl, if not then no, if so then hells yes. i am not focusing on anything either way i am just happy on where i am at in life. no more no less, just happy.
thanks to all involved for making that possible....
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